Saturday, May 16, 2009 - :

12/5/2009
My blog is like dead for these past long weeks. Reason is because the Internet line was confiscated by my folks and if I ever want to use the computer with Internet, my folks will be watching me like guard dogs watching Mas Selamat.
Kang Le and I were now okay, I think, because he stated talking to me when both of us need to take our Chinese test outside the class. Ya. We both cheated with inside help, Thanks Chun Poh! At first, I wall hell shock that he talked to me. But I was too high at that moment that I talked back. It was okay…something about what Chun Poh had said to me made me think a lot. I think I’ve really changed. Why do I seem so cheerful in class? Why do I always smile in class? Why am I acting like a bad schoolgirl? Hmm…guess I was too distracted by all the fun that I’ve changed.
Arians are supposed to be fun. Grr… Anyway, what Chun Poh had said kind of slap me hard on the face (in a good way) that I better rearranged my personality before I ‘play too much with my own fire that I get burn too’. If you know what I meant by that, you are smarter than I thought...HAHA
.Mid-year sure gona flunk so I made another promise to myself that after mid-year, I will still continue to study. Ever came across your mind that have you ever keep a promise you made for yourself, and you never break it. HAHA. The study thing I mentioned earlier will be my 2nd promise ler. If you can guess the 1st promise I‘ve made to myself, again, you are smarter than I thought. Haha...I don’t think anyone will know siah. Yuliany, exactly what did you write about me in your blog??? And Alloy, n Ben, I don’t care if you kip on saying the name and the white hair thing BT pls, kip queit 4 awhile cn? Stop telling me about the white hair thing…I better study my math now before my double gets angry with me and plays nasty. So many things have happened…H1NI flu…chicken pox? I think getting it at 15 yrs old is quite a record but damn lucky you won’t have to take the exams...hey, no offense, you’re lucky. Thx 4 the Twilight CD anyway. I will definitely fix the spoilt remote control. Erm... To the passer-by that had tagged me more than once, I thank you. Keep up with the mysterious identity...Okay, FINE, CAN YOU TELL ME WHO YOU ARE?
P.S: Fiona, thx for the compliment bout me look like Kristen Stewart But I don’t think I look like her.


14/5/2009
I screw up big time. I’m going to die. I’m going to fail all my exam papers and disappoint everyone. Since when did I start slacking so much? It’s too late. All too late. All the mistakes have been made.
I’m getting more and more frustrated because I can’t read X’s mind. I hate reading people’s mind but why is X being difficult? Many times I could have simply storm off or even shout out to X: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? But then, I thought to myself, why am I so preoccupied by X’s thoughts. Or who am I to bother myself with whatever is going through X’s head. Argh, I miss 9 also. I know it’s my entire fault for letting my temper run wild and neglect him at the same time. I just realized that I do need him at my darkest hours. I haven’t been good enough to him. I haven’t been myself lately too. So, I’m left with no one. And Yuliany, you are wrong to say that I am sociable with the guys at our class. I’m not. Really. That’s just isn’t the real me okay? You said that they are always a few of them who lookout for me and that you are jealous abit but no, I’m not that sociable. I’m scared now ‘cause there’s no one left to talk deep stuff and fun stuff. I’m scared that I will fall because all my mistakes are building up and there’s no help….no one can read my mind...except for one or two …I don’t know what I ‘m really talking about ‘cause I’m too confuse with everything. What is X’s thinking? Will 9 forgive me? Argh….I’m such a loser.
觉莹． 你很烦也。

16/5/2009
My folks have had a tiff last night. Pretty nasty. Anyway, I think I did pretty well for the FnN test. Ya. I spent a whole night studying the 10 FnN’s chapters. It drives me nuts. Because of the exams, I have a lot of sleepless nights and I can’t believe I still have the energy in the morning. I could have stop breathing (I usually stop breathing for awhile when I’m extremely nervous) during the FnN test but hey, maybe because I ‘m good at blocking out the things in my head that I’m okay with the breathing. Also, I have decided that if anyone, like Alan, for instance, disturbs me again, I won’t do anything about it.

I will keep on continuing to block things out of my head. Ya. I better keep myself so preoccupied that I have no space for other stuffs. Ya, that may work. Since the computer can’t be used, I guess I have to find days to stay back at school to update my blog. I want to save up money quick. Since I have no jobs, it means not eating on certain days in school, like on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I hope I can buy my own personal things. So that’s that. I will push myself harder and block things out of my head. I have to be less clumsy too. I ‘fell’ down at the stairs at Jurong West Library twice. Haha. I actually tripped on my bag. Fiona, Yuliany, Kang Le, Khoi Hung and me were there to study for exams. Fell down twice. ARKWARD! HAHA! Clumsy Khoi Lam!

Can’t wait for Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince movie out. If I’m not wrong, I’m watching with Suriati again. And a belated happy 23rd birthday to Robert Pattison a.k.a Cedric Diggory/ Edward Cullen whose birthday falls on 13th May. Man! Why are you so tall? 185cm? Kay, I’m way short. Happy now?
觉莹，加油长高长肥哦！！！

Dravelle blogged at 7:42 PM