Saturday, May 23, 2009 - :

还是很难接受我一直很崇拜的偶像，会令我和其他影迷们，非常的失望。（幕光之城）里面的演员， 竟然有抽烟的坏习惯！记者先拍到的是女主角先抽烟。没想到，男主角和另三个配角，也抽烟！演贝拉的女主角，都是很多女生崇拜的，她竟然。。。恐怕，我没那么喜欢有关（幕光之城）的东西之类了。不过也对，童话就是个童话。它是无法改变的。故事，永远都是故事，在怎么改，也是无法出现在现实中。就像我人生一样，我从不完全去信任一个人。 不是我很卑鄙，而是我曾尝试过，但是，却只学到了往往被骗的滋味。为了不要让我在被骗，我往往会问自己：‘觉瑩，你确定你要相信他吗? 不怕到头来是你变成傻瓜吗？’。因为这样，才会导致我有时侯会对别人不理不睬，就很像是要抛弃朋友的感觉一样。也因为身边的人，太不了解我在想什么，以为我在自卑。不过说真的，要完全去相信一个人，不是如嘴说的容易。像佩真，我以为我能和她谈关于感情的事，却后来发现跟她说的时候，真的很不自在，因为她喜欢用我告诉她的，来捉弄我。咳！也对啦，我连自己都不信任了，那还有资格去信任别人呢？还想说尝试呢！根本就是在自找麻烦。我连自己到底是谁也搞不清，自己的性格也不知道。。。我只能说我和自私但连上帝也应该无法告诉我是谁吧。但我从（慕光之城），学到了一样东西：无论是什么，恐怕，就只有时间能告诉答案。。。


Dravelle blogged at 8:32 PM

Friday, May 22, 2009 - :

I am too bloody selfish.

It will take some time for me to leave everyone.

I am working on it.

I am doing this so that I won't have to hurt any soul, anyone anymore.

To protect everyone.

If leaving is best , I will do it for everyone’s sake.

Dravelle blogged at 3:15 PM

Thursday, May 21, 2009 - :

My life is very hectic nowadays. I'm still stuck in a world of confusion. I'm very very very confuse. I have fun with X but somehow, I knew that I shoudln't get close to X. Being with X, my emotions will get out of control EVERYTIME and it's killing me.

I'm okay with Kang Le but still, I felt that X and Kang Le are so hard to...I don't know?

X is the protective kind. Fun and easy type but just...get the feeling that I'm not worth it. L-E-A-V-E M-E A-L-O-N-E...

Kang Le is...we both share sensitivity(his more serious ler), same taste in music(OH, X also) and think deep. Good to have him in the darkest hours.

But it all comes down to one thing: I am being too selfish..I sux .

I thought I made someone angry today but turns out not. Don't know why, because of that little incident, at recess today, my temperature rises and got headache. I couldn't concetrate. The last time like that, was when Kang Le and I stop talking. Oh...got breathing difficulties again.

FnN: pass with 58 marks (highest in the batch) - C5
SS: fail with 13 marks (glad I'm not the lowest) - F9
Chinese: pass with overall 70 marks (OMG, I don't want go E1) -A2
Physcis: not overall but get 49.4 marks so far (add CA maybe pass) - D7
Math(paper 1) - pass with 26 over 50 marks

If attend Hogwarts, sure all pass...haizzzzz

Labels: goin 2 watch Twilight on Internet in skoolcoz cn nt use house computer since i'm nt doin homework assignment ler

Dravelle blogged at 2:59 PM

Tuesday, May 19, 2009 - :

I wasn't really looking forward to today actually but it turned out better than I expected. I passed my FnN but don't know the marks yet. Just realised today, by Yuliany, that I was in fact, the shortest in class. ARGH! WTH!

Alloy and Ben scared me today. Now okay ler coz thay told me thay looked through my shedule book before. SCARY.

Also, talking to Ferdinand was hard-wrecking. Many times I wanted to greet him but my sins clouded my mind.

Also, X surprised me again. And, I will never talk to Yuliany about L-stuffs anymore. I'm keeping everything to myself.

Why so short?
Why so thin?
What's so good bout it?
ARGH...

Labels: From the pathetic SHORT girl

Dravelle blogged at 6:56 PM

- :

Wake up at 4.15am to find my left hand numb siahh. I wake up early so as to pack my bag and do my unfinished FnN. I dreamt of inheritance. Wonder what it means?

Dravelle blogged at 4:20 AM

Monday, May 18, 2009 - :

Thx Kang Le
4 still rmb-ing my blog
i saw ur blog by the way
i still believe there's hope
n salvation 4 you

Accept the help given
i knoe it's hard 2 differ which is real n fake
i bin through tat ... alot
eu cn still bring me 2 Christ

I knoe i hurt eu bad
n tat eu r still suffering
i try my bez 2 4get eu
bt it won't work

i miss ur help
ur friendship
ur listening ears
ur sensitivity
n everything

so y can't we pretend tat this had nvr happen
n continue as frens? u knoe, during the period of time wen we din tok,
i pretend i had a short-term-memory
n tat i 4get bout eu
bt ppl kip on asking mii bout eu

Labels: again. to all those who like to think things far, i m nt havin a crush.

Dravelle blogged at 12:30 PM

Saturday, May 16, 2009 - :

12/5/2009
My blog is like dead for these past long weeks. Reason is because the Internet line was confiscated by my folks and if I ever want to use the computer with Internet, my folks will be watching me like guard dogs watching Mas Selamat.
Kang Le and I were now okay, I think, because he stated talking to me when both of us need to take our Chinese test outside the class. Ya. We both cheated with inside help, Thanks Chun Poh! At first, I wall hell shock that he talked to me. But I was too high at that moment that I talked back. It was okay…something about what Chun Poh had said to me made me think a lot. I think I’ve really changed. Why do I seem so cheerful in class? Why do I always smile in class? Why am I acting like a bad schoolgirl? Hmm…guess I was too distracted by all the fun that I’ve changed.
Arians are supposed to be fun. Grr… Anyway, what Chun Poh had said kind of slap me hard on the face (in a good way) that I better rearranged my personality before I ‘play too much with my own fire that I get burn too’. If you know what I meant by that, you are smarter than I thought...HAHA
.Mid-year sure gona flunk so I made another promise to myself that after mid-year, I will still continue to study. Ever came across your mind that have you ever keep a promise you made for yourself, and you never break it. HAHA. The study thing I mentioned earlier will be my 2nd promise ler. If you can guess the 1st promise I‘ve made to myself, again, you are smarter than I thought. Haha...I don’t think anyone will know siah. Yuliany, exactly what did you write about me in your blog??? And Alloy, n Ben, I don’t care if you kip on saying the name and the white hair thing BT pls, kip queit 4 awhile cn? Stop telling me about the white hair thing…I better study my math now before my double gets angry with me and plays nasty. So many things have happened…H1NI flu…chicken pox? I think getting it at 15 yrs old is quite a record but damn lucky you won’t have to take the exams...hey, no offense, you’re lucky. Thx 4 the Twilight CD anyway. I will definitely fix the spoilt remote control. Erm... To the passer-by that had tagged me more than once, I thank you. Keep up with the mysterious identity...Okay, FINE, CAN YOU TELL ME WHO YOU ARE?
P.S: Fiona, thx for the compliment bout me look like Kristen Stewart But I don’t think I look like her.


14/5/2009
I screw up big time. I’m going to die. I’m going to fail all my exam papers and disappoint everyone. Since when did I start slacking so much? It’s too late. All too late. All the mistakes have been made.
I’m getting more and more frustrated because I can’t read X’s mind. I hate reading people’s mind but why is X being difficult? Many times I could have simply storm off or even shout out to X: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? But then, I thought to myself, why am I so preoccupied by X’s thoughts. Or who am I to bother myself with whatever is going through X’s head. Argh, I miss 9 also. I know it’s my entire fault for letting my temper run wild and neglect him at the same time. I just realized that I do need him at my darkest hours. I haven’t been good enough to him. I haven’t been myself lately too. So, I’m left with no one. And Yuliany, you are wrong to say that I am sociable with the guys at our class. I’m not. Really. That’s just isn’t the real me okay? You said that they are always a few of them who lookout for me and that you are jealous abit but no, I’m not that sociable. I’m scared now ‘cause there’s no one left to talk deep stuff and fun stuff. I’m scared that I will fall because all my mistakes are building up and there’s no help….no one can read my mind...except for one or two …I don’t know what I ‘m really talking about ‘cause I’m too confuse with everything. What is X’s thinking? Will 9 forgive me? Argh….I’m such a loser.
觉莹． 你很烦也。

16/5/2009
My folks have had a tiff last night. Pretty nasty. Anyway, I think I did pretty well for the FnN test. Ya. I spent a whole night studying the 10 FnN’s chapters. It drives me nuts. Because of the exams, I have a lot of sleepless nights and I can’t believe I still have the energy in the morning. I could have stop breathing (I usually stop breathing for awhile when I’m extremely nervous) during the FnN test but hey, maybe because I ‘m good at blocking out the things in my head that I’m okay with the breathing. Also, I have decided that if anyone, like Alan, for instance, disturbs me again, I won’t do anything about it.

I will keep on continuing to block things out of my head. Ya. I better keep myself so preoccupied that I have no space for other stuffs. Ya, that may work. Since the computer can’t be used, I guess I have to find days to stay back at school to update my blog. I want to save up money quick. Since I have no jobs, it means not eating on certain days in school, like on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I hope I can buy my own personal things. So that’s that. I will push myself harder and block things out of my head. I have to be less clumsy too. I ‘fell’ down at the stairs at Jurong West Library twice. Haha. I actually tripped on my bag. Fiona, Yuliany, Kang Le, Khoi Hung and me were there to study for exams. Fell down twice. ARKWARD! HAHA! Clumsy Khoi Lam!

Can’t wait for Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince movie out. If I’m not wrong, I’m watching with Suriati again. And a belated happy 23rd birthday to Robert Pattison a.k.a Cedric Diggory/ Edward Cullen whose birthday falls on 13th May. Man! Why are you so tall? 185cm? Kay, I’m way short. Happy now?
觉莹，加油长高长肥哦！！！

Dravelle blogged at 7:42 PM